May 2012
1 post
A Man Told Me to Beware of 33; He Said, "It Was...
I am never really conscious of my age. That probably sounds hard to believe coming from a woman living in this modern world, but it’s true; I’ve just never really paid much attention. I’m childlike in some ways and mature in others, and I never had the luxury of relying on my looks to get me things, so it never even occurred to me to worry about the day that they would no longer...
April 2012
1 post
Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
I moved to Los Angeles from Atlanta six and a half years ago, and after one (1) week in this new city, I briefly befriended the twins from Good Charlotte. (“What?!” — you, just now.) No, I am not 15 years old, and no, I am not into (most) pop-punk or really give a care about their music at all, but I am obsessed with Morrissey, and after regular daily viewings of the Morrissey-Solo...
March 2012
1 post
Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
I am so tired of egos, man. I work in entertainment, in Hollywood, a place that does not follow the normal rules of anywhere outside of here. There are no quantifiable measures of talent, really, in any field. People in charge like what you do or they don’t. It’s not like when I used to be a copy editor, and I got jobs based on whether or not I put commas in the right places or...
February 2012
1 post
Dr. Woo(d): Great Minds →
A year or so ago, Andy told me about an idea he’d had for a while to make T-shirts attributing stupid T-shirt slogans (mottos? catchphrases?) to some of history’s great thinkers. I laughed, and we collaborated on a list, and we continue to laugh every time we read these. We are simple people.
andytwood:
(Co-written by April Richardson)
“I’m not an alcoholic; I’m a drunk....
January 2012
1 post
Tell Your Children Not to Walk My Way
I went back home to Atlanta a few months ago because I love it there, and also to visit my friends and family. My first night back, I went out with my boyfriend Andy and my friends Millie and Sonji, and after enjoying a delicious Mexican meal that included the elusive white cheese dip that sadly cannot be found at Mexican restaurants anywhere outside of the Southeastern United States, Millie...
December 2011
2 posts
Telly Addicts, You Should See Them At It
I am obsessed with home shopping channels. Still. And I know home shopping channels and their “hosts” (salespeople) are such easy topics to clown on, but it’s more than that for me — I’m fascinated by them and the fact that home shopping TV channels can still exist in this day and age. I know I’m not solving the Da Vinci Code here, but let’s look at the facts:
...
May 2009
1 post
Success Is Obedience to a Structured Way of Life
I’m 30 years old today. This Tumblr is meant to be a place where I type flowery, long-winded things, because I don’t want to forget how to write, but I wanted to post today.
I am happy with 30. I’m kind of pumped about it, honestly. I still get carded sometimes when I go to R-rated movies (not a joke), so I guess I’m doing okay on the wrinkles front. (I’m actually...
April 2009
1 post
All I Have Here With Me Are the Records and the...
I have a lot of stuff. My room is filled to the brim with records, CDs, cassette tapes, books, magazines, zines, and DVDs — most of the books I own are about the records that I own, and most of the DVDs I own contain visual representations of the songs on the CDs I own. I like things, and I like knowing stuff about the things that I like.
However, while it may sound like it, I am NOT bragging — I...
March 2009
1 post
Is Evil Just Something You Are or Something You...
I kind of love it when people have a MILLION “my boss is such an asshole” or “my roommate is such an asshole” or “that guy at the store is such an asshole” or “all my ex-girlfriends/ex-boyfriends are such assholes” stories, because when they tell those stories (and they do, constantly), I think about the day when someone they are relaying these tales...
February 2009
2 posts
For the Girl With the Hourglass Figure Time Runs...
Hot chicks, for the most part, are assholes.
I live in Los Angeles and I work at what is considered to be a fairly “young and hip” place, so I encounter the stereotypical “hot chick” (young, thin, tan, and blonde) on a regular basis; rarely do I meet a nice one.
Now, I personally do not find these types of women very attractive — both aesthetically and, uh, personality-y?...
To Have and to Have Not
I passed a billboard the other day on the way home from work that made me seethe with rage. It advertised designer menswear, jewelry, and perfume (?) with the single line: “The most expensive in the world!” If you’re the marketing director for this label, I want to punch you in your teeth with some solid-gold brass knuckles.
“The most expensive in the world!” THAT is...
January 2009
4 posts
Ill With the Thrill of the Chase
I am not a dude, so that right there is probably the simplest explanation for what I’m about to go into a bunch of paragraphs about, but I do not get the appeal of feigning disinterest.
If I like someone, I hang out with them; if I don’t, I don’t. In recent weeks I’ve heard two male friends talk about relationships and nearly complain about the other person being...
What Are You, Some Kind of Expert?
I am fascinated by people who are experts on weird things, but more fascinated by the fact that they can somehow have the title “______ Expert” underneath their names when they are on TV — particularly the Food Network, which seems to feature quite a few of these types of folks.
Any show that Marc Summers hosts on the Food Network (usually something like “How Corn Dogs Are...
And I Quote:
“You should be blogging more. You’re really funny and people need to read your words. And that’s the last I’ll mention it.” — Erin Gibson, 2009.
So maybe I’ll start writing stuff here. Maybe.
It's Like That
Yeah, like I really need another place to post inane crap on the Haternet.